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Post by kerna on Aug 10, 2006 14:03:15 GMT 10
nurse walks into a bank.
Preparing to write a cheque,
she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it.
She looks at the flabbergasted teller and without missing a beat says,
Well, that's great .................that's really great.........
Some asshole's got my pen!
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Post by skrabsta on Aug 10, 2006 14:06:04 GMT 10
nurse walks into a bank. Preparing to write a cheque, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it. She looks at the flabbergasted teller and without missing a beat says, Well, that's great .................that's really great......... Some asshole's got my pen! thats funny |
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Post by azzura on Aug 10, 2006 14:06:53 GMT 10
hehehe
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Post by Mean Machine on Aug 10, 2006 15:51:39 GMT 10
hahahaha thats a good one
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Post by TROOPER71 on Aug 15, 2006 15:50:23 GMT 10
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Post by Mean Machine on Aug 15, 2006 16:34:31 GMT 10
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Post by Wrathchild on Aug 15, 2006 16:47:14 GMT 10
 Ah so true lol
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Post by kerna on Aug 15, 2006 22:17:02 GMT 10
TEE HEE
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Post by skrabsta on Aug 22, 2006 16:52:08 GMT 10
An Italian, a German and an Australian football fan were arrested in an small Arabian state when they were caught pissing on a religious building after an all night drinking binge.
The trio have to face up to the local sultan and are dished out the typical punishment for religious desecration - 20 lashes of the whip to the back. But the Sultan was a big football fan so he kindly granted them two wishes each - but they were not allowed to change the number of lashes or the type of punishment.
The Italian says " Well we are the World Champions so I go first. I want the pleasure a beer and a pillow.". The Sultan grants his wishes.
With a wide grin the Italian drinks his beer and binds the pillow to his naked back. But after 10 lashes the pillow falls apart and he has to painfully endure the remaining 10 lashes which leave deep welt marks on his back.
The German saw all this and spends a few minutes thinking before smiling. "I would like to have two pillows for my back". The Sultan thinks about the uniqueness of the wishes but decides to grant it given he has used up his two wishes in one go. However after 15 lashes of the whip both pillows have fallen apart and the German has to painfully endure the remaining 5 lashes which leave deep welt marks on his back.
The Australian is grinning from ear to ear and mutters something under his breath about a bullshit penalty.
"Ok my first wish is to double the number of lashes to 40." There is stunned silence in the hall.
The Italian, German and Sultan are a little surprised at the first wish but then remember the strong fighting performance the Aussies put up during the World Cup in Germany 2006. The Italian and German look at each other and nod in admiration - obviously this Aussie wants to show how tough he is.
The Sultan ask the Aussie for his second wish.
Tie the Italian to my back" he replies.
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Post by Mean Machine on Aug 22, 2006 17:22:15 GMT 10
bahahaha thats a good one
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Post by Sands Of Time on Aug 22, 2006 20:18:53 GMT 10
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Post by =Arise= on Aug 24, 2006 5:28:05 GMT 10
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mum, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense."
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his nappy. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."
The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."
The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."
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Post by Sands Of Time on Aug 24, 2006 7:27:33 GMT 10
Ha Ha
Good one!
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Post by Mean Machine on Aug 28, 2006 20:32:47 GMT 10
A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces
attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example:
When a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine
features.
And just before she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in Petrol
and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eyes and a cricket stump
shoved up his arse.
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Post by Wrathchild on Aug 28, 2006 23:41:28 GMT 10
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