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Post by Wrathchild on Sept 15, 2006 18:19:35 GMT 10
 LOL Trooper... some real funny ones
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Post by skrabsta on Sept 23, 2006 8:58:21 GMT 10
A duck walks into a pub and says to the barman: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman: "No."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, we have no bread."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, we haven't got any f***king bread."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman: "No, are you deaf, we haven't got any f***king bread, ask me again
and I'll nail your f***king beak to the bar, you irritating frigging bird!"
Duck says: "Got any nails?"
Barman says: "No."
Duck says: "Got any bread?".......
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Post by Mean Machine on Oct 13, 2006 18:33:11 GMT 10
funny
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Post by Mean Machine on Nov 2, 2006 17:55:26 GMT 10
11 reasons good bands don't come to australia
11. Currently our most successful international acts are The Wiggles and Hi-5. How the F**k can anyone compete with that?!
10. Insurance companies don't allow "Rolf Harris insurance"
9. It's hard to compete with Kylie's arse for publicity
8. They still haven't forgiven us for Crocodile Dundee 2 or 3
7. The last time Deep Purple were here they went back home with stories that Aussie women were fat, old and male
6. The blokiest bloke in our music industry is Molly Meldrum
5. They keep forgetting its New Zealand where they root sheep
4. Rolf Harris
3. They took one look at Angry Anderson and won't come anywhere near the country
2. Because apparently tour promoters are dickheads who wouldn't know a profitable tour if it came up and bit them in the face
1. They heard that we wear thongs on our feet and got weirded out
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Post by demonizer on Nov 2, 2006 18:29:28 GMT 10
Number 2 isn't as much of a joke as it is a fact.
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Post by Wrathchild on Nov 2, 2006 22:46:18 GMT 10
Numb 1o haha!
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Post by MaidenOz on Nov 6, 2006 21:36:35 GMT 10
We've all heard about men having guts or balls.
But do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, the
definition for each is listed below.
GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being
assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask:
"Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"
BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys,
smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say: "You're next."
I hope this clears up any confusion on the subject.
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Post by Wrathchild on Nov 6, 2006 21:40:35 GMT 10
We've all heard about men having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below. GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?" BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say: "You're next." I hope this clears up any confusion on the subject. There wouldn't be any balls left after that |
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Post by =Arise= on Nov 7, 2006 3:42:42 GMT 10
Yeah, they would be completely spent of ammunition  ;D |
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Post by TROOPER71 on Nov 10, 2006 11:17:19 GMT 10
A little girl asks her Mum, "Mum, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?"
Her Mum replies, "No, because she is in heat." "What does that mean?"asked the child.
"Go and ask your father. I think he is in the garage."
The little girl goes out to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block?
I asked Mum, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come and ask you."
Dad said, "Bring Belle over here." He took a rag, soaked it with petrol and scrubbed the dog's backside to disguise the scent,
and said "OK, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time round the block." The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog. Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?"
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The little girl said, "She ran out of petrol about halfway, so another
dog is pushing her home."
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Post by Wrathchild on Nov 10, 2006 14:09:58 GMT 10
BaHaHaHa Good one  |
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Post by Mean Machine on Nov 10, 2006 15:57:33 GMT 10
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Post by TROOPER71 on Nov 11, 2006 15:00:49 GMT 10
LUCkySubject: MasterCard Priceless Must Read Moment! If ever there were a MasterCard Priceless moment .. this takes the cake! MASTERCARD WEDDING You got to love this guy... This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it. It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding! He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception. As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party was an envelope. He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope. Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man. The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them. After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, "F--- you!" Then he turned to his bride and said, "F--- you!" Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, "I'm outta here."He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning. While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade,as if nothing were wrong. His revenge--making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300 guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and family members. Do you think we might get a MasterCard "priceless"commercial out of this? Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends:$32,000. Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion: $3,000 Deluxe two week honeymoon accommodations in Maui:$8,500. The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the best man: Priceless. There are some things money can't buy, for everything else, there's MASTERCARD! |
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Post by Mean Machine on Nov 11, 2006 16:22:20 GMT 10
that is so awesome
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Post by =Arise= on Nov 11, 2006 20:13:54 GMT 10
Hahaha
Sucked in to the best man and bride! ;D
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LOL Trooper... some real funny ones 
